Getting Outsmarted By The Dumbest Person At The Company Is A Tough Look

Not bad for the dumbest motherfucker at the company, am I right? I know I’d probably test positive for tism if I took the test, but when it comes to being the GM of a basketball team, I’m Elon Musk in this bitch. While everyone was focused on what overweight, out of shape meathead they could add to their team, I was focused on what was clearly the biggest advantage in the tournament: the birds.

You see, the most important rule in this tournament wasn’t having an extra player on the court it was that when one girl is on the floor, the other girl must be on the floor. And if you choose to play the girl on your team the whole game, the opposing team must do the same. So when I found out we were playing Big Cat’s big ass team, I knew the only way we were going to beat them was if we had a girl that could do damage. And thankfully, my saving grace Sydnie Wells had a terrible first game.

But as a hooper know how it goes. Bad game one game, lights out the next. So once I saw her slip down everyone’s draft boards, I knew I had Big Cat’s team in the bag. Sydnie didn’t just play well, she played the most complete game of basketball from anyone in this tournament. Whether it was hitting threes, layups, or clutch rebounds, she was the absolute fucking GOAT. And now I believe we have the two best players in the tournament on the same team, with just one win away from winning $40,000.

Not too bad for a fucking moron, am I right?