Report Claims Orlando Bloom Dumped Katy Perry Over Her 'Ridiculous, Cringeworthy, Embarrassing' Space Flight

Anthony Harvey. Shutterstock Images.

I'll confess that to the extent I do ever invest the mental energy needed to think about a celebrity couple, Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry hardly take up any of it. In fact, I tend to forget they even exist and an entity. He's one of the central characters of my all time favorite film series, Lord of the Rings. Plus he did Pirates of the Caribbean and Troy. She performed in probably the fourth or fifth best halftime show of the Patriots 11 trips to the Super Bowl (so far). That's plenty enough bandwidth to dedicate to these two as a celebrity couple. 

But now that people are reporting about Bloom's reaction to Perry's galactically stupid trip into the upper atmosphere space:

Well then OK. Now you've got my attention, you two crazy kids:

Source -  Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry's relationship imploded after the singer made her embarrassing journey into space — and now the embattled couple is sparring over who will attend the wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez. 

The pair were already on the rocks when Perry made the widely-derided 11-minute trip to space in April. The Blue Origin flight, led by Sánchez, quickly became a PR disaster. 

Perry, in particular, became the internet's punching bag for her eccentric actions, hogging the camera while holding up a daisy - a nod to her daughter - in zero gravity, before bizarrely dropping to her knees and kissing the ground on touchdown. 

But she received little to no support from Bloom who blasted the 'embarrassing' debacle during an explosive row.

'He told her the whole thing looked ridiculous,' a source in Perry's camp told the Daily Mail. 'He said it was cringeworthy. Embarrassing. This was in the middle of a fight, and it hurt her feelings.'

'Of course she was hurt,' the source continued. 'Imagine going to space — motherf space — and your partner isn't impressed. She hoped he'd be more supportive.'

I'm going to ask all of you married people, or really anyone in a committed relationship, for a show of hands. How many of you in the heat of an argument, haven't said something they regret? Anyone? Who here has never gone one step too far when your blood is up and struck a nerve you shouldn't have? No? No one? I thought so. Thank you for your honesty.

We've all done it. It's the nature of having a spat with someone you care about. Couples have been doing it since weddings involved getting smeared with goat's blood by the tribal elder to signify your union before the great Moon Spirit. The best any of us can hope for is that, in those moments, you don't say anything that can't be unsaid. 

And as a guy with 30-plus years of experience on the marriage battlefield, do you know what is perfectly acceptable to say? In fact, is not an insult or something you need to apologize for later on? It's, "Your asinine trip on Jeff Bezo's rocket was fucking idiotic." That's what. 

Advertisement

That's not anything Legolas needs to walk back. Ever. All he was doing was citing the overwhelming public opinion that Perry made a colossal fool out of herself. Along with all the other Real Housewives of Blue Origin on that little ego trip. Those vapid, supercilious, pretentious Space Barbies, who took a trip so short you literally could not have hard boiled an egg (12 minutes) between liftoff and touch down. But who talked about it like it was an achievement. Like they just colonized Mars. And like actual female astronauts haven't been traveling into actual space since the early days of the Soviets' Soyuz program. 

So good for Will Turner here, assuming this is true. If it is, he got out of this relationship easy. "Ridiculous, cringeworthy and embarrassing aren't insults in this situation. They're not hurtful. They're accurate descriptions. Shared by virtually everyone who didn't slip on Lauren Sanchez' cat suit and hop in a penis rocket to play Astronette, just to complete her vanity project and placate her multi-billionaire husband's Jupiter-sized ego. Never forget that the truth is always a defense against libel.