It Turns Out Being President of France Can't Save You From Getting Bitch-Slapped by Your 72 Year Old Wife in Front of the Entire World
Christian Liewig. Getty Images.I'm no historian, but I listen to way more history podcasts than is probably good for me. And it seems to me that one common thread throughout the centuries is that France always seems to have a stranger relationship with its leaders than the other powers in the western world.
You could go back as far as the reign of Charles "The Hammer" Martell in the 8th century, who ruled with an iron fist over the Frankish kingdom without ever actually officially being crowned king. He simultaneously preserved Christianity in Western Europe while brutally putting down rebellions. His grandson Charlemagne was named the first Holy Roman Emperor, and did likewise while also promoting education, the arts and the rule of law. The French beheaded Louis XVI and his wife in 1793 because they decided they hate monarchy. Then just a decade later cheered while Napoleon crowned himself Emperor. And since the point's been made, let's not get into the Vichy government during the German Occupation. The point being, whoever rules over France, the relationship is always a complicated one.
So if any first world country was going to elect a guy who married his teacher, it was almost inevitable it would be France. And one thing President Emmanuel Macron learned this weekend is that when it comes to complications, his relationship with his citizens can't hold a flickering candle to the one he has with his 72 year old wife, Brigitte:
Here it is a little closer. Zoom in. … Now enhance:
Zoom in. … Enhance:
Zoom. … Enhance:
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What in tarnation? By way of background:
NY Post - Brigitte Macron, the first lady of France, was seen shoving her husband, President Emmanuel Macron, in a shocking video that has since gone viral.
The moment was captured on camera Sunday evening when the couple was landing in the Vietnamese capital, Hanoi, for a state visit.
A member of the French president’s staff was seen opening the door of their presidential plane moments before Brigitte, 72, placed both of her hands on 47-year-old Macron’s face and pushed him back. …
Macron is then seen for a few moments going back into the plane, out of the view of the outside public.
He and Brigitte eventually exited the aircraft side-by-side, but noticeably did not hold each other while doing so. Macron actually appeared to extend his arm for his wife, but she opted not to take it.
And:
Also NY Post - [T]he shocking moment was just the latest in a relationship that has been fraught with scandal.
The head of state was just 15 years old — the age of consent in France — in 1993 when he met Madame Brigitte Auziere, a 39-year-old high school teacher, at the Catholic Lycee La Providence in Amiens, where he was also a classmate of her eldest daughter, Laurence.
“At 15, Macron had the maturity of a 25-year-old,” his ex-sports teacher Daniel Leleu, previously said, according to Bloomberg.
“He preferred to spend his time talking with the teachers rather than his classmates.”
Brigitte’s family found out about the affair in the summer of 1994 after they caught the two of them sunbathing around the pool at the home of the teacher’s aging parents, according to a biography of France’s first lady called “Brigitte Macron: An Unfettered Woman” by Maelle Brun. …
At the time, Brigitte was married to banker Andre-Louis Auziere, with whom she shared three children.
Auziere took the news of his wife’s infatuation with the teenager “like a slap in the face,” according to Bruns.
"Like a slap in the face," you say Andre-Louis?
I suppose a figurative slap in the face is better than a literal one captured by video crews from around the globe and preserved for all of posterity. A part of your permanent record on the world stage.
Just to be fair, the French government is claiming that the loving couple was just joking around. That this was nothing but playful horsing around from two people in a very committed relationship. All a part of their elaborate mating ritual, so to speak. And some Journos are doing their part by claiming this is all just Russian disinformation:
But I ask you. Look at his reaction once he realizes that was caught by the cameras. That forced smile. That gamely trying to project an image that everything is fine. And tell me he's not like the wife in every Lifetime Original Movie about an abusive relationship claiming that bruise on her cheek is from walking into the door "Because I'm just such a klutz!" while the pain in her eyes betray the lie even as she tells it.
This is a terrible dynamic for anyone in any relationship, no matter which spouse is the slapper and which is the slappee. Domestic violence in any form is abhorrent. But when you're the President of a nation of 68 million people, it becomes 68 million times worse. Being a leader is about projecting power. It's about convincing your enemies that you are not to be trifled with. Macron might have access to France's nuclear codes and all, but it's hard to come off as menacing to your allies when you just let a senior citizen emasculate you like you're Billy Bob Thornton in Tombstone:
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I'm not suggesting he should've struck her back. That's the lowest form of taking the coward's way out. But you cannot take that abuse from anyone. If you can't block the punch of a 90 pound septuagenarian woman, I don't know if you're worthy of leading a nation. I mean, there's no coming back from the humiliation Macron is getting online:
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Just a terrible situation. Not just for one man, but a nation of tens of millions. A world power. America's oldest ally. One thing for certain is that we'll never find out what actually happened. All we'll ever have is this video and the Macron government's abused spouse-like denials. But if anyone could find out exactly what's going on with this flight attendant:
… that would be great. I've watched the videos literally dozens of times and I still can't make any sense out of this. Is it an optical illusion? A massive shoulder wound? Is she in mortal danger? She might not be a world leader, but I'm more worried about this woman than anyone else in this sordid tale.
PS. Macron right now is longing for those carefree days of a couple of weeks ago when his biggest worry was getting accused of hiding a bag of blow while on a peace mission: