Congratulations To The New York Rangers On Back-To-Back Historical Seasons

Jared Silber. Getty Images.

These Blueshirts man. After last year's historic regular season - a franchise record 114 points and their 4th Presidents' Trophy win over the 38 seasons it was awarded - they fucking did it again. History. This time though we're not just talking the franchise books. We're talking the whole damn league. That's right. The boys did something that's never been done before. No team had ever…EVER…followed up a Presidents' Trophy win by missing the playoffs entirely the very next year twice until the '24-25 New York Rangers. Perhaps the NHL's most disappointing franchise since the league's inception has held true to their roots and disappointed on a level that no other organization has had the lack of spine, guts & heart to accomplish. From 114 points & a #1 seed to 85 points and a shot at a #1 pick within a calendar year.

Congratu-fucking-lations.

What makes it even more special are the conditions they accomplished this feat under. They brought the same core back. They got rid of last season's "dead weight" in Goodrow, Trouba and Lindgren. They got off to a great start as a top-five team with a .735 points percentage (12-4-1). Besides Kreider missing a brief stretch around the trade deadline they were one of the healthiest teams all year long. Pretty much injury-free…and the one player who was their biggest injury scare (Filip Chytil) was flipped with a first to bring back JT Miller who only went on to finish 11th in NHL scoring over the 32-game stretch he donned a Rangers sweater. There was no adversity. There was no bad luck. They had a better iteration of last year's squad and still impressively found a path to suck. It's unbelievable.

There are a handful of players who did their part to try and spoil the team's trip to the cesspool. There's some absurd takes about Adam Fox in Rangerstown but the fact is, although there's no doubt the PP QB has to take a large share of blame for the inexplicable demise of their greatest weapon a season ago, Fox was outstanding. No other blueliner had more of a positive all-around possession impact to their team 5x5. Only Quinn Hughes bested him (barely) in relative Corsi while Fox's 12.36 relative expected goals-for percentage was tops by a longshot (Dahlin was 10.66 then Hughes at 9.5).

Artemi Panarin was left on an offensive island for the majority of the season yet still finished with a 37/52/89 line. The powerplay has been an inexplicable flop while last year's linemates have come crashing down hard from career highs yet only 12 skaters in the league scored more. Since March he threw the boys on his back to try and creep into a wild card spot. Only Pasta produced more at even strength & his 14 goals over their final 20 games that mattered doubled his next-best teammate while racking up a point on 43% of his team's goals.

Will Cuylle is easily the best thing to come of this waste of a season. The 2020 second-round pick out-worked, outscored and out-performed a fellow draft class member that went a few picks higher. Hammering home 20 goals while sitting top-5 in hits is a rare breed in today's game & he produced despite getting thrown all over the lineup. The 23 year-old should be locked in as a middle-six all-situations banger with 25+ goal potential for years to come.

You know it was an ugly year when you're wrapping up your very short "these guys played well" list with a 4C & 13th forward but here we are. Sam Carrick crushed it at the dot, chipped in offensively with a shorty & a couple GWG's and was sound enough defensively to manage a plus-rating as a 4th liner on an awful defensive team. Always keeps it simple, seldom makes mistakes. Another hard-nosed guy like Cuylle never afraid to mix it up. Jonny Brodzinski got more opportunity than expected this season and a lot of his much higher-paid teammates could take a lesson from him. No Blueshirt shot or finished at a higher 5x5 per-60 clip than Brodz & he had some big-time offensive efforts in wins against the Isles, Wild & Canucks down the stretch that were "musts" at the time.

That's it. Everyone else pulled on the same rope against success to ensure this group couldn't possibly veer off their historical path to failure. Mika Zibanejad. Chris Kreider. Alexis Lafreniere. K'Andre Miller. Braden Schneider. And yes, even Igor Shesterkin who had one of the most perplexing seasons I've ever seen. Make no mistake about it there wasn't a shred of competent defense being played in front of him. Whether you wanna use your eyeballs or fancy stats, no goalie faced high-danger shots at a higher clip than Shesty - but tell me how this makes any sense.

Up by 1: No full-time starter had a better save percentage or goals saved above average rate.

Down by 1: Only two full-time starters had a better save percentage & just one a better goals saved above average rate.

Tied: Only Georgiev had a worse save percentage & goals saved above average rate.

What the fuck?

Kinda tough to sustain success when your $11.5M backstop might as well be starting every tilt blindfolded considering every opening puck drop happens with zeros on the board. In fairness to Shesterkin though, the blindfold comes off and he turns into a world-beater whenever the opposition breaks a tie…just long enough for the Rangers to get the equalizer so he can suck again. Like the rest of this abysmal squad, you simply gotta give it up for such a uniquely mind-bottling contribution to a shitshow of historical proportions.

The New York Rangers figuratively skated to center ice and instead of raising their sticks they raised their middle fingers in salute this season. To the fans. To the legendary Sam Rosen during his swan song as their play-by-play man. And most importantly, to themselves. It takes a lack of will, pride & accountability previously thought impossible to accomplish what this team has just done. So congratulations to the entire organization from the top down.

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You're a historical fucking laughing stock.