Home Dogs and The Chiefs Capping Off This Week's Bets. NFL Week 2 Plays I Can Feel In My Plums.

3-2 last week. Not great, not bad for a crazy fucking opening week filled with some dogshit football. Going 5-0 this weekend and nailing this parlay too. I can feel it in my plums.

Here's who I got Week 2.

Green Bay Packers at Atlanta Falcons +1.5 (41.5)

This line is all over the place. It opened with Green Bay giving a point, and has moved almost 3 points to them getting 2 at some books.

it's a bit of a health crisis on the Green Bay side. Aaron Jones, Christian Watson, and Quay Walker might be sitting this one out. I mean, Walker had an interception last week; he's probably taking a mental health day after that shocking success. On the Falcons' side, LB Troy Andersen might be out with a concussion, but don't worry, they've got Jeff Okudah and Cordarrelle Patterson back in action. Plus, safety Jessie Bates is leading the Atlanta defense to new heights.

Now, let's talk about the Packers' defense. They looked like monsters against the Bears, but let's be real, that was like playing chess against a goldfish. On the other hand, Atlanta surprised us all with a solid defense last week. Sure, they were up against a rookie QB, but it's progress, people! Desmond Ridder won't be setting the world on fire, but he won't donate footballs to the opposing team.

Watson and Jones might be no-shows, and the Falcons' defense is like a weapon most of the public isn't aware of yet, just waiting to pounce. Expect a grind-it-out win for Atlanta. Depending the book you're on, give or take the points. Falcons win this one.

THE PLAY = Atlanta +1.5

Packers 20
Falcons 24

Kansas City Chiefs at Jacksonville Jaguars +3 (51)

In Week 1, the Kansas City pass catchers were playing hot potato with the football, dropping it like it was a scorching skillet. It got so bad that a pick-six became the game-changer against Detroit. But hey, I'm feeling the vibe for this matchup against Jacksonville. Mahomes is ready to mend some broken hearts, and he's got Kadarius Toney in his sights. Expect fireworks against this defense.

Guess who's back? Chris Jones and Travis Kelce are in action, and that spells trouble for the opposition. Andy Reid and Mahomes have had some quality bonding time with that extra prep, so brace yourself for an inspired performance.

Now, let's talk about that Lions upset. The Chiefs' defense held the fort, giving up only 14 points. This defense could be even scarier with Chris Jones back in the mix. And as for the Jacksonville O-line, it's like a house of cards, especially with Brandon Scherff nursing an injury. I think the Chiefs win this one easily.

THE PLAY = Kansas City -3

Chiefs 28
Jaguars 20

 Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals -3.5 (45.5)

Joe Burrow just isn't 100% it's as simple as that. The Ravens' defensive front seven saw what the Browns did to Burrow, and they're licking their chops for a piece of the action.

The hook on this matchup is like a shiny lure for a fisherman. Baltimore, a solid team, getting more than a field goal? That's tempting. Sure, the Bengals' offense is an upgrade from the one that basically sent a postcard to the end zone with three points and 142 yards against Cleveland. But flipping the script against the Ravens, who were a top 10 defense last year? That's a tall order.

Sure, there's the J.K. Dobbins injury, which is a head-scratcher, but fear not! Mark Andrews is back in action, and he's like a healing wizard, making everything better. I like Baltimore and the points.

THE PLAY = Baltimore +3.5

Ravens 21
Bengals 24 

Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots +3 (46.5)

The Dolphins find themselves in a bit of a whirlwind, crisscrossing the country like a road-tripping band. From the west coast to back home and now up north to face the Patriots, it's been quite the journey. But don't expect the Patriots to roll over just because of an unlucky Week 1. Belichick has that defense on lockdown.

Week 2 has a habit of humbling teams that lit up the scoreboard and let the opponent do the same in Week 1. So, don't be too surprised if the Pats steal the show here.

Speaking of the Dolphins, Tua Tagovailoa went all guns blazing with 466 yards in the air. It was like a Hollywood blockbuster, and they pulled off a late-game thriller. But hold the phone, their defense allowed 233 rushing yards, 30 first downs, and let the opposition convert 9 out of 15 third downs.

The Pats, on the other hand, nearly took down the Eagles, even with some concerns about the offensive line.

I think this will be a solid game and New England will keep it close.

THE PLAY = New England +3

Dolphins 21
Patriots 20

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers +3 (39.5)

Dennis Allen, known for his conservative coaching style, led his team to a nail-biting 16-15 home victory over Tennessee. But here's the twist – the Saints shouldn't be the heavy favorites in this road game. Carolina's defense had its act together in Atlanta, holding the Falcons to a measly 4.6 yards per play, and Brian Burns was like a tornado with 1.5 sacks. He's ready to make life miserable for New Orleans' left tackle, Trevor Penning.

Sure, the Saints' defense is a force to be reckoned with, but Bryce Young is ready to break the cycle of back-to-back blunders. The Saints scored 10 of their 16 points against Tennessee thanks to turnovers. The Panthers are at home, it's a Monday night showdown, and it's Bryce Young's inaugural start against a division rival. Frank Reich will have his guys ready to go and even though I really like this Saints team this year, I think Carolina keeps this one close. Take the points.

THE PLAY = Carolina +3

Saints 21
Panthers 19

Good luck to everybody! Reminder to bet responsibly! 

LET THE BOY WATCH