Advertisement

I Think There's A Chance We See A 600 Foot HR Tonight

The Home Run Derby kicks off shortly from Coors Field tonight. 

The last time it was there, 1998, it was drop everything you're doing, tune the fuck in, absolute appointment television.

Know why? 

Because Ken Griffey Jr. was competing in it, it was the height of the steroid era (Griffey did not juice and you can't tell me otherwise), and he put on a fucking showcase.

Everybody is riding the Shohei train tonight, and for good reason. 

(Except for that racist Stephan A. I am #triggered!)

Guy drops nukes. Here's a video of him hitting the roof of the Tokyo Dome and the crowd reacted like Godzilla was busting through the thing. 

Good times.

The guy is a fucking stud. 

Advertisement

It blows my mind that Japan even allowed him to come here to play. I know its the same as our greatest soccer players going to Europe to play in the Premier League vs. staying here and playing in MLS but soccer is kind of irrelevant in this country unless its on the international stage every 4 years. I think the equivalent would be Lebron James packing up and leaving the NBA for Liga Nacional or some shit.

I think the government would be within their bounds to step in and block it from happening.

There's also that monster Joey Pico De Gallo participating tonight. 

With Gallo taking rips in that arid air, mile-high elevation tonight don't be surprised if we see a 600 foot HR. No bullshit. (Fun Fact - All time record is 582 in Mile High Stadium in 1982 by Joey Meyer)

We've also got father-son team Jeff and Tim Kurkjian announcing tonight which checks all the mandatory sentimental baseball boxes.

As well as defending champ Pete Alonso.

(It's too bad he's not hitting at Wrigley tonight. I think he's hit 20 in regular-season games against live pitching there. Could probably hit 60 tonight off BP)

So as awesome as the HR Derby is, you know what could make it better?

I have two words for you.

Aluminum bats.

Yes you read that correctly.

I've been saying it for years now. 

You really want to get people's eyeballs glued to the TV? Put an Easton in Joey Gallo's paws and let him blast holes through people's torso's in left-center. 

Let him knock out cell phone towers on high rises down the block.

You know what puts asses in the seats? 800-foot moon shots. 

Balls that the are hit so fucking hard off the atomic number 13 barrel of the bat that the camera loses them and has trouble focusing on them like its the fucking space shuttle.

Advertisement

If you really wanna get crazy, put more of those crazy prizes out in the stands, or setup some Top Golf like targets up above scoreboards or one neighboring buildings and give these guys something to aim for. And fans in the park or at home something to root for them to hit with an incentive baked in.

The Derby begins in a few so I have to wrap this blog up and I'm late for a WSD podcast, but tell me how right I am down below or that I'm a momo that knows nothing even though you know this would sell like crazy.

p.s. - The new girl Makin Money Megan has Joey Gallo winning this thing and they even boosted the odds on the Barstool Sportsbook App-

Frank Thomas is riding him too so she's in good company

p.p.s. - if you don't wanna give them aluminum bats for this thing because "tradition", then at least let them swing these things

Advertisement