A Driver Getting Road Head Crashes into a Bar and Kills Someone

Source -  Court documents say a man charged with barreling his pickup truck into a San Jose bar, killing a woman and seriously injuring two other people, was having oral sex at the time.

Alex Moreno was charged Wednesday with gross vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence causing injury in the Friday night crash that killed a 35-year-old woman.

Court documents indicate that a woman was performing oral sex on Moreno when his truck barreled backwards through a parking lot and hit a group of three people at an outdoor table.

Saints preserve us. In a situation like this you've got to choose your words carefully so it doesn't seem like you're taking someone's death lightly. Because this is the furthest thing from something you can take lightly. 

There are few expressions I hate more than saying someone "was in the wrong place at the wrong time," because it implies fault. This 35-year-old woman was precisely where she should have been doing exactly what a person should be doing. Out with two other people. Presumably enjoying one an other's company. Supporting a local business. Having one of those moments we all look forward to. And are too few as we walk through this vale of tears. 

Worse still though, is that she had to die because some total stranger was getting off in a truck. The end comes for all of us at some point. The Grim Reaper is still undefeated and all that. And while not everyone contemplates how she or he may shuffle off this mortal coil when their time is up, no one imagines checking out like this. Rescuing people from a burning orphanage. Stopping an assassin's bullet from killing a doctor who has the cure for cancer. On the operating table while donating your organs to save your loved one. Snapping Thanos out of existence and saving the world. Not so that some guy can nut in a motor vehicle while you're splitting nachos with some friends. 

I'm also going to need a better description of the incident. Maybe a report from CSI: San Jose where they measure the skid marks and the crumple zone of the truck to determine speed and direction. I mean, if Alex Moreno was moving forward, that's a no-brainer. He was getting a beej and went off the road, investigation over. But he was in reverse? With enough speed to crash a patio and take a life? How did that work? Was he parked and his the shift? Was his foot on the brake and he took it off? None of this makes sense and I need a crime scene reconstruction to understand the physics. 

And this is important. If just one person reads this and finds themselves receiving (or giving) road head, remembers this and makes the decision to put the car in park and kill the engine, it'll have been worth it. The life you save could be your own. So could the blowie. Stop doing stupid things, people.