Acquiring Dad Strength Right Before Slow Pitch Softball Season Is What We Call Playing Chess At Life
In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the pageviews, you haven't, we experienced the miracle of life on May 1st, 2021 by bringing in yet another disgruntled Philadelphia sports fan onto this Earth. A joyous occasion in which baby and Mommy are both happy, healthy and are blessings from the skies. A few months back we asked the age old question "Do You Think Hardos Should Be Allowed To Breed?" and now, it doesn't matter. There are (somehow) no laws and regulations around reproduction. So joke's on you, society/humanity! We're raising this kid to be a lefty, despise the Cowboys, and become better than his father at gaming (Spoiler Alert: He's probably already there at 2.5 weeks old) until we fulfill the promise that shall be made to all my children:
For real though, thank you everyone who has reached out with their support. The entire experience thus far, aside from him being legit nocturnal, has been awesome. The wife and I are very blessed to be this fortunate.
Now let's get into the real reason for any warm blooded male to enter the realm of fatherhood:
Dad Strength.
It's a scientific fact all power increases ten-fold upon becoming a Dad. If you disagree then you've clearly never moved furniture with a father who wants nothing more than to "Get this shit over with" or have been a misbehaving child on the receiving end of a sudden, Herculean death grip. Dad strength is real and it needs to be harnessed for good. With great power comes with great responsibility. That being said, we completely ignore the Voltaire/Uncle Ben adage and enter into the reenter the world of slow pitch softball. We've conquered this realm before as you can see us leading the Barstool team to glory as well as launching gremlins into space.
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But now we're not just entering any Beer League, we're abandoning all hope and possibly life insurance to become one with Degenerate Delco Softball. May God have mercy on all souls.
We ventured into the wild this weekend for the first time. Rone and I discussed this week on First Time, Long Time, Barstool's totally unsanctioned Philly podcast, about how we were going to immerse ourselves with these Delco creatures.
It has been decided that Rone is going to take an observatory role of the zoo. A David Attenborough, if you will. I will be a Jane Goodall and become one with the animals. Here is some of the happenings from the first weekend in action:
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You'd think a PIAA umpire earning a few bucks for his family on the weekend would be able to get away with misreading a close call at second base from his solo spot at home plate? HA! In this league you'll get erroneously accused of felonies.
Final Stats: 2 games played - 1-1 record - 4-7 at the plate - 1 Delco Steak consumed - 1 fist fight witnessed - 1 arrival from police - 0 (known) DUI's - Delco stench washed off within 16 hours
Good times had by most. Rone is going to get involved soon and we're going to be doing stuff with hopefully every team. Any team who is short a few creatures on any given week let us know. Papa's gotta get some time in the field.