A Parrot Belting Out "Everything Is Awesome" Will Put A Smile On Your Face

Are you smiling after watching that?  No?  Then it’s suicide time.  Sorry to say but it is.  It’s the end of the road for you.  You are incapable of experiencing joy and happiness.  You’ve had a good run.  Or you haven’t.  It doesn’t actually matter either way.  People will take a day off work and be fine in a month.  But it is in fact your time to go because you’re doing nothing but sucking the joy from other people’s lives who enjoyed watching that parrot sing.  So close that garage and fire up that engine.  Tie that noose and kick that chair.  Swallow that revolver and pull that trigger.  Down the stream, not across the river.  It’s time to shove off into the dark abyss and see what’s waiting on the other side (spoiler: nothing).  Because hearing that bird sing “Everything Is Awesome” is the embodiment of joy and happiness.  Let it in.  Let it envelope you.  Having a shitty day?  Not anymore. You just became tied for the happiest person on Earth with the rest of the folks who watched that.  Couple that with the fact that tomorrow is Friday and we’re all having the best day ever.