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Everybody is Awful (Except You)

New York

In first grade I whipped my penis out in class to show my friends my first ball hair.

Barstool Sports presents Jim Florentine as the host of the Everybody is Awful (Except You) podcast. Jim has recorded six stand-up comedy albums and shot four full-length specials. On television Jim hosted 7 seasons of VH1 Classic's "That Metal Show" as well as lending his voice to the ground breaking "Crank Yankers". On radio Jim has been a regular on The Howard Stern show, the Opie & Anthony show and currently hosts his own program on Sirius. In addition Jim is a best selling author, world-renowned voice over talent, and has been featured in the film's "Beer League" with Artie Lange and "Trainwreck" with Amy Schumer. Subscribe now.

Everybody is Awful (Except You) with Jim Florentine

School Stories

<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>I'm A Grower Not A Shower</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push((function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("brandId","101"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","63544"),htlbid.setTargeting("tags",["shower","Awful","stories","everybody","catholic school","grower"]),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.layout()}))</script><script>var googletag = googletag || {};
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        pbjs.setConfig({ pageUrl: https://www.barstoolsports.com/video-podcast/2545090/im-a-grower-not-a-shower });</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",(()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach((e=>e.play()))}))</script></head><body class="union__content"><p>Catholic school, pissing on my friends lawn, and showing my first ball hair. <strong>(4:54)</strong></p><p>Pork Chop coupons, 4th-grade girlfriends, and I was an alter-boy. <strong>(10:02)</strong><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Hoodies' & T-Shirts</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/PxZmBtS" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-hoodie?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/Ji974aW" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower"></a></div></div><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div></div><p><strong>Download The Podcast </strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aIvbmr8" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everybody-is-awful-except-you-with-jim-florentine/id1495087840?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower"></a></div></div></div></body></html>

<p>Catholic school, pissing on my friends lawn, and showing my first ball hair. <strong>(4:54)</strong></p><p>Pork Chop coupons, 4th-grade girlfriends, and I was an alter-boy. <strong>(10:02)</strong><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Hoodies' & T-Shirts</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/PxZmBtS" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-hoodie?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/Ji974aW" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower"></a></div></div><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div></div><p><strong>Download The Podcast </strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aIvbmr8" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everybody-is-awful-except-you-with-jim-florentine/id1495087840?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_im-a-grower-not-a-shower"></a></div></div></div>

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I'm A Grower Not A Shower