First Date From Hell: Guy Tricks Woman Into Driving Bank Robbery Getaway Car

Naturally this takes place in the stretch of land between Providence, RI and Boston, MA. "The taint of the NorthEast," some might say. 

And seeing as it's the eve of Valentine's Day, allow me to take a giant dumper in your heart-patterned boxer briefs with this first date horror story. 

From CNN:

A Massachusetts woman became an unexpected getaway driver after a man she met on a dating app robbed a bank on their first date.

Christopher Castillo, the unnamed woman's would-be Robin Hood, plead guilty this week to armed robbery and three counts of assault and battery on a police officer — all committed on their first date on December 5, 2016 — according to the Bristol County District Attorney's Office.

It all started, the woman told police, when she picked up Castillo from his parents' home in Chepachet, Rhode Island, and drove him 30 minutes east toward North Attleboro, Massachusetts. She said he drank wine in the passenger seat of her Nissan Maxima (which is also illegal, but he wasn't charged for that one).

First off, Chepachet? More like 'cheap-as-shit' if he's still living with his parents & having her pick him up, amiright gang? ha ha

Second - ladies… NEVER a good sign when he cracks open a fine jug of Gallo or $3 Moscato before you get to that cute, little BYOB spot. A true gentleman waits until you get to the parking lot.

The two had never met in person before that fateful day in 2016, she told police. So why would she think anything was wrong when he told her to pull over as they approached a bank?

Welp…

He got out of her car and left her there alone for a few minutes. Then, suddenly, he came running back, sweating with sunglasses, a hat, a gun and $1,000 cash in hand, the woman said.

"F**king go," he told her.

She "panicked," she told police, so she did as she was told.

At this point she could have said, "You know what? Fuck it. Let's hit the road & make this our thing." 

But it wasn't meant to be…

…once she spotted flashing sirens from North Attleboro Police cruisers on their tail, she immediately pulled over and walked away from the car.

Castillo stayed inside and ducked from police.

Police pulled Castillo out of his hapless date's car as he "violently struggled," spit on them and told them his gun wasn't loaded, according to the district attorney's office.

Though it happened in 2016, it was only this week that he plead guilty to the armed robbery plus three counts of assault and battery on a police officer. (Admittedly clueless when it comes to the law so I'm genuinely not sure what took four years to get to this point?) All together, he's been sentenced to five years in jail nearly five years after the date from Hell. 

I'm sorry this happened to his date, but also - what a great story for her to tell on other first dates now?? Really worthwhile silver lining.