The Patriots Give Michael Bennett the Contract He Wanted. I Just Wish I Felt Better About It.

Well OK then. I can honestly say I did not see this coming. Not so soon at least. But it’s pretty definite at this point that the Patriots and Michael Bennett are a thing. They are serious. This isn’t just some one-nighter Tinder hookup to get over the loss of Trey Flowers. This is a long term commitment. Ish.

In the short term, it means Bennett gets the pay raise he was shooting for in Philly, which made the Eagles move him for a pick next year. As for what it means to the Patriots, whenever anyone talks Capology, I always end up reading it with the same expression the dog gives you when he doesn’t know which hand you put the ham in. So here it is in Tweet form from people who understand it:

So it’s one of those situations that seem to exist only in football player contract accounting, where you end up paying a guy more but it frees up cap space. Which is always a good thing. The exact sort of creative numbers-crunching that has kept the Patriots immune to the ups and downs of the NFL business cycle that makes other champions like the Broncos (who now have only six players remaining from their 2015 Super Bowl team) sink to the bottom of the league. In the same way the accountants were the ones who finally brought down Al Capone, they’ve sneaky been a major key to the Patriots sustained greatness. And since they just signed Pro Football Focus’ 20th rated pass rusher among all Edge defenders with a deal that makes both sides happy, we should be happy.

So why don’t I feel happy about this?

Like I said when the Pats first traded for him, I’m still not over these examples of Bennett’s punkassery:

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And it’ll be hard to ever get Cris Collinsworth’s voice out of my head when he said Bennett gets called for more offsides than any D-lineman in the league. Which is proven out by the fact in five years with Seattle he had 61 total penalties called on him, reaching double digits in each of those seasons. And there’s still the matter of him saying how much he’s looking forward to having deep political discussions with Belichick and Brady. Which makes him the total population of people looking forward to those discussions.

I should get over it. And maybe once he shows up to camp and starts working his ass off and saying all the right things, I will. But for now this feels like those times you’re sitting in the church watching your friend marry someone you don’t exactly trust, you don’t think is good for him, and you can just see it ending with lawyers and custody battles and him sleeping on your couch “just until things get straightened out.” You hope you’re wrong, but every feeling in your gut says otherwise.

Here’s hoping that Bennett getting the contract he wanted, the right coaching and an environment where the patients aren’t running the mental institution the way Pete Carroll does it will make me wrong.