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A Man From China Went Drunk Online Shopping And Casually Bought a Live Pig, Peacock, and Salamander

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Cnet.com

There’s a bunch of stuff we’ve been warned not to do after drinks, like driving or calling your ex. Here’s one more to add to that list: shopping.

A man from China ended up with a live pig, peacock and giant salamander after he went shopping online while drunk over the 24-hour Singles’ Day shopping frenzy on Sunday, the South China Morning Post reported. The sale is an annual shopping festival started by Alibaba in 2009 that has grown to become much bigger than Black Friday and Cyber Monday combined.

The unnamed man shared his revelation in a WeChat post, which was then posted on Twitter-like platform Weibo by another user on Monday, according to the publication. The post has over 18,000 thumbs-up and more than 22,000 reposts at time of writing.

“Early in the morning yesterday, while I was drunk, I clicked into Taobao and started shopping,” the man wrote.

The man attached screenshots of the “extremely adorable Thai mini pig” which cost him 278 yuan ($40), the live blue peacock that came up to 390 yuan (about $56) after adding shipping fees, and the wild salamander weighing between 2.8 to 3.2 kilograms that cost 288 yuan (about $41).

We’ve all bought drunk things online before because it’s frankly so much fun. You don’t think about the consequences of wasting the countless dollars you’re spending, you just hit the autofill button on your credit card info and boom it’s yours. Big Cat tried to buy a ghost (I think he was actually sober), Trent bought a sock holder (also sober), Vibbs just told me he got blackout drunk one night and bought five typewriters. I asked him why not just one and he said he ended up in bidding wars and accidentally won all of them. Incredible. Kate bought a $1,000 ticket with airfare to Outside Lands. I’ve done a few porn subscriptions and a $300 Roger Federer tennis racket when I play tennis like once a year. Well, how about some live animals? How about a fucking peacock? What the hell do you do with a live peacock?

The realization of all this came when the man recalled buying two sets of clothes and wanted to see if they shipped. When he went online to see the status of his order he found out he bought half a zoo. The guy who used to own my house 40 years ago actually had a peacock and a mountain lion along with like ten dogs and ten cats. I live in a suburban Jersey town so it’s not like I’m in the mountains. I have no idea how he kept a goddamn mountain lion in our back yard and prevented it from killing the neighbors. The milk bottle it drank from is still attached to the fence somewhere in the back. I don’t ask my mom about that story enough.

So what do you do with these animals if you’re this guy? Well, it’s China, so he probably just eats them right? It’s a different world over there. It’s not uncommon to have a peacock show up at your door. Why? Because that’s their version of Seamless.