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Ashley I. And Jared H. Are Engaged And It's The Fakest Engagement Of All Time

People- Only happy tears here! Ashley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon are engaged, PEOPLE confirms. Haibon popped the question Sunday while in Mexico for the upcoming fifth season of Bachelor in Paradise, the summer spin-off series where The Bachelor alums’ up-and-down relationship began three years ago. Haibon got down on one knee on the beach as the bride-to-be, wearing a bright yellow dress, put her hands on her chest and threw her head back in excitement. Fans remember Iaconetti, 30, being crushed on the second season of Paradise in 2015 when Haibon, 29, didn’t reciprocate her instant feelings of attraction. However, the two remained close and built a strong friendship. During a weekend spent in Virginia with their friends for a charity event Iaconetti was planning, Haibon saw her in a different light. “I was in love,” he previously told PEOPLE.

I don’t know when The Bachelor/The Bachelorette bypassed professional wrestling for the best fakest realest thing on TV but I am elated. People can say The Bachelor/The Bachelorette has always been fake and that’s true. There have always been fake elements but it’s never been this deliberately fake. It’s really a testament to Chris “The Puppet Master/The Vince McMahon of Love/The World’s Best Legal Pimp” Harrison and the people at ABC. They’ve created a cast of characters people still give a shit about even when they haven’t been on the flagship program for years.  For example, Ashley I. first appeared in our lives back in 2015 on Iowa Chris Soules’ season. Jared H. also first appeared in our lives back in 2015 on Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season. Then ABC just throws them onto Bachelor In Paradise and keeps them relevant. It’s amazing.

Ashley I. and Jared H. are Paradise veterans. No joke, they’ve been on that show a combined 47 times. They’ve been on that damn beach more than Jorge. Up until recently, it was always the same thing. Ashley crying her face clean off and Jared paying just enough attention to keep her hooked while also keep his options open. Then a couple weeks ago they MIRACULOUSLY started dating and now they’re MIRACULOUSLY engaged. Wow! That was fast! Do you believe in miracles?!?! I do not. This is clearly a set up by Harrison and ABC so they can get a TV wedding out of it (they haven’t had one since Carly and Evan). The storyline of Ashley always crying over Jared got stale so they’re now being forced to get married on national television. I love it. They’ll probably get a show on FreeForm too. There is no greater farm system for shitty reality stars than Bachelor In Paradise. It’s a machine.

What do Ashley and Jared get out of it, you ask? They get the most sought-after currency in the reality TV world: instagram followers. Everybody wins. Wedding bells!