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Carl

KYLE TUCKER IS OFFICIALLY A CHICAGO CUB

Maybe the biggest Cubs trade since Nomar came over in 2004 and even entertaining that topic is kinda blasphemous as a Cubs fan. So let’s just stay on Kyle Tucker here before I categorically erupt from excitement.  No bullshit - Kyle Tucker is a top 10 player in baseball. Last year in 50% of playing 

According To Pornhub - "Footjob" Is The #1 Searched Term in Colorado And That's Awesome

This may come as a surprise but I actually enjoy a decent handjob. Just ask me one question and I'm done. Do you like that?  Are you a bad boy? Do you have a big load?  Yes. Yes. Yes.  For a long time I've thought this was normal. But the internet has the unique ability of teaching me life lessons a

DEBATE: Power Ranking The Most Desirable Seats In This College Living Room

Alexa enhance  We got 8 couches in what appears to be a Nebraska fraternity senior house. I say that because 8 options means you got a lot of bodies. It's kinda shitty but whatever. I don't mind shitty. Shitty's not bad. We'll rank the 8 seats in order of worst to best but first I want to point out 

A Blog About Lunch Meat

I enjoy lunch meat quite a bit and have been eating a lot of ham lately.  I blogged about diagonal sandwich strategy yesterday, and in the process of receiving feedback, it was made abundantly clear that we need to have a deeper conversation about the meat between the bread.  So be it. I'm up for th

Help Me Settle A Debate - What's The Best 1st Bite When Eating A Diagonal Sandwich?

I eat lunch every single day and I love it. There's absolutely no denying that. I'm a huge lunch guy. Lately, I've been eating a lot of ham sandwiches because pork is delicious and best served as an amalgamated loaf sliced to translucency and softly piled into heaping, rolling hills.  That said, I s

BREAKING MUSIC NEWS: Dead & Company Just Announced They're Returning To The Las Vegas Sphere This Spring

So the kids, they dance, they shake their bones” 🌹💀⚡️We’re thrilled to announce #DeadForever - Live at @SphereVegas in 2025, celebrating our 10-year anniversary! Advance presale registration is now open. Learn more and register at deadandcompany.com (link in bio). The rumor mill was swirling HARD 

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Carl

Cubs blogger. Mike Matheny hater. I broke the Yu Darvish signing two months early #ScoopCity

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Carl Merch